Okay, I'm going to treat this as a bit of an experiment. I just want to find out if it's just me or of other's go through the same thing.
Everybody has situations that come up in their lives that tend to throw them a curve ball and they find themselves making the best of a bad situation. In my mind, the majority tends to keep a good attitude and their lives aren't affected too deeply.
My first dilemma is that there have been a couple financial disappointments in my life (as well as the majority of the U.S., I'm sure) and I know we'll get through it, and I know we'll just have to cut a few corners and go without a few things, but I'm still bothered by it.
Secondly, I have also been dealing with a hard to handle 1 yr old. I love her to pieces, but she is also one of the biggest challenges in my life. She is adorable yet she pushes my buttons on a daily basis. She seems to set the tone for the whole house. If she's happy, we all seem to be happy, but if she's mean and ornery, so are the rest of us!
Third, we have a couple live-in's with us at the moment. Rory's mom and brother are living with us for the time being. Cassie has been with us for about 2 and a half years and Derek has been with us for a few months now. I know they are Rory's family, but they are also taking their toll on my patience.
Work has added it's share of stress as well. I know it's not as busy as it used to be, but that in itself is stressful. If there isn't as much business, there is no reason to keep the doors open. It might not be long before I'm cruising the classifieds....
There are also all those little things in life that we all have to deal with, far too many to list one by one.
So anyway, here's the research part of it........Does anybody else out there feel like they're going to burst at any given moment? Like the pressure of everything around them is just going to push them right over the edge and send them to a padded cell? Because, I'm telling you, I feel like I 'm about to call up the funny farm and make myself a reservation. Do you think that everyday life and dramas can actually make someone crazy? Some days I feel like that stupid bird on the Cocoa Puffs box. Just plain Coo-Coo. Does anybody else out there feel the same way I do?
For my sanity sake please leave a comment with suggestions or advice.
Love you all....That Crazy Lady Lisa. :)
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10 comments:
Oh Lis! I know the feeling. Maybe not for the same reasons, but I know exactly. It sucks. I'm sorry you are going through that. Stress, you gotta love it. (: If you need anything, let me know!
I'm feeling a little better just to know that I'm not the only one! Thanks Traci!
Oh BOY Lisa! Just put me in a straight jacket and put me on the bus to the crazy house with you! Whoever doesn't feel like this should be smacked. You are so NOT alone! I totally understand about the one year old all too well. I'm so grateful for him and his health but man somedays he drives me up the wall. Maybe we all need a good GNO! (girl's night out!)
Ooh ooh ooh. You need to tune in to mine and Trin's blog here soon life is sooo crazy. I know how you feel. Like there are not enough tears or to explain your frustration sometimes. I know exactly. How we stay in sucky situations because we are certain otherwise would suck too. STUCK.
Wow! Ok, so I have a couple of thoughts and comments. This is going to be freaking long:
#1 - The most divisive, destructive kind of stress on the planet is financial stress. There is nothing like it. I've never felt a more desperate feeling in my life than wondering just how on earth things will get paid.
Quick personal story. A few weeks before Talmage was born I lost my job. It was entirely my fault. I was on the short list to be hired by Qwest so I pretty much sabotaged myself with my then-current employer. After losing my job I almost immediately got a phone call from Qwest arranging my testing and final round of interviews. A few days later 9/11 happened and Qwest, like many other companies, had a huge hiring freeze. Talmage was born 9/12. So here I am a new dad, full time student, and alleged provider with no job. Sherri was battling hardcore post-partem and was in no shape to go back to work. I got a job for $8.00 an hour hauling windshields for dad's company and tried to pay all bills and tuition with it. Talk about a dark time when I wanted to just cash in and start driving until the car ran out of gas, then start walking until I passed out, then die right where I lay. But we got through it. Through perseverance and a lot of knee-time we got through it. I have no doubt that you and Rory will get through the financial struggle. We're Americans. We've built an existence based upon our ability to improve our OWN situation through the freedoms granted to individual self. We don't rely on a government to help us and we aren't forced to do what the government tells us to do in terms of employment. We're not a country of redistributed wealth and equal reward for unequal effort. We are the captains of our own souls. You are smart, amazingly able, and the most positive and upbeat person I've ever known. Whether you are at your current job, or somewhere else, you'll thrive. And I'm sure Rory is the same way.
#2 - People underestimate the difficulty of living with people that ARE NOT your spouse or kids. When I decided to double up on school and crank hard, my mother suggested we move in with them. "Stay as long as you need, even if it takes the full four years, you're always welcome here." None of us could have asked for a better crew to live together. Sherri and I helped out around the house, we cooked, I did yard work, we contributed to groceries, and we were very quiet. But the arrangement barely lasted 18 months. My parents were set in their ways and we were set in ours. It's just not a good idea to live with others or have others live with you. I realize that sometimes it's necessary, but it's incredibly hard.
And the person that suffers the most is the mother of the household. It was Sherri that had to truly co-habitate and get along swimmingly with everyone. I got to go to work, then go to school, then come home and study until 2 in the morning. I didn't have to deal with ANYONE's little nuances and quirks...the small things that start to grind. Sherri did.
The key for us was twofold. First, I needed to support the opinion and view of Sherri regardless of what I TRULY thought. If I came home from school and Sherri wanted to rant about how horrible dinner was because of blahblahblahblahblah, it was my husbandly duty to agree completely and be equally ticked off. No matter what, I needed to support her. It was MY family we were with and that couldn't be easy for her, regardless of the awesome relationship we had. Second, Sherri deserved whatever "me time" she needed. If that meant disappearing for a full Saturday to recuperate, then fine. Take the Saturday and leave me with the kid.
Hopefully you and Rory have a similar agreement, but if you don't, pull him aside and lovingly ask for his support. It'll be hard for him because we're talking about his mother here, and sometimes we lads don't break easily from our moms.
*Breath* To sum up, I think you guys will be fine. The stresses you are going through right now are freaking brutal, but I know from firsthand experience that you can conquer those bastards. And when it's all over, you might look back and laugh, but you'll undoubtedly be a stronger Lisa.
Lisa do not feel bad about doing this post...really....it makes it easier to deal with our struggles when we know we are not alone....we will get through it, we are strong women...love ya..hang in there...
Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. You've just described how I feel on a daily basis.
Some days, I get to work, and want to scream my head off!! Why do I have to work??? I hate money so much. It's so stressful. I have this stupid house that isn't even worth as much as I paid for it, and I stay awake many nights worried that we will lose our home. I just have to have faith that is will all be okay.
My kids are wonderful, but sometimes Jack makes me want to pull my hair out. They say the youngest of the family is the youngest for a reason. :) Once they come along, they're so rotten, you don't want any more. Not really but there are days I just want to run away.
I don't have anyone living with me, but I can't even IMAGINE having someone other than my husband and kids here. It's hard enough with them around.
But seriously......You are NOT alone. Not even close. In fact, (like Jana said), if anyone out there doesn't feel like that, they should be smacked, and smacked hard.
I'm thinking of you. :)
Lisa I think your just saying what were all thinking. I have so many of the same problems as you it's not even funny. I might need to start shopping the classifieds too. Although, your way ahead with the in-laws.
I think Lu Lu will be easier when she can communicate a little better. Anytime you need a little break bring em to me for a day I'll help you out. Jae can even stay the night on a weekend, or when school is out.
Hey and Sharon, thanks for the youngest comment, that's just great. haha. Although, if you think about it, I'm actually not the youngest.
I'm sorry for what you are going through. This too shall pass. Don't you just hate it when people say stuff like that to you when you're struggling? I usually want to choke them. But, it will pass - finances will get better, Lexie will outgrow it, there will be other jobs, and hopefully the other two problems will move. Be grateful for the husband you have because without him and the girls you truly have nothing. I'm so terribly sorry about the Derek situation. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Lisa! I love how real you are. It has been so much fun getting into touch. I loved the comments you left for me about motherhood. You have a lot more experience than me. Sorry about your job. I hate when national crisis' hit home. Love you!
Laura
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