Tuesday, July 28, 2009

How did I get myself into this?

I kept telling myself that I just needed a little time to adjust to the situation at home when my mother-in-law had to move in with us temporarily. Unfortunately, her plans fell through and temporary became permanent. I've tried so hard to be selfless and keep my mouth shut, but as time goes by, I find myself feeling bitter and resentful. I hate that feeling.
The last few days have been really hard on me and I feel like I've reached my limit and I have no idea what to do. On one hand she is Rory's mom and I know he worries about where she would go or what she would do if she wasn't with us. On the other hand, the drama and the stress is taking it's toll on our whole family.
For any of you that don't know her, she is a very different type of person. She is beyond a handful and it gets worse as the time goes on. Well, she talked her doctor into prescribing a diet pill for her. (It's been explained that it has a similar effect as speed). She has been taking this drug for a little while now and has been a bit more jittery and getting less sleep. Recently there was a situation that happened with her other son Derek that she got involved in and it "charged" her emotionally. With all those factors, she was bound to crack, and she did. She was practically hysterical when she was trying to explain that God was talking to her and that all of our worries were over. Now, I do believe in revelation and inspiration, but this woman was three shades of crazy and had no clue what she was talking about. She said that God had told her that some stranger was going to pay off our house so I could be a stay at home mom and Rory could be a stay at home dad and that she was going to find her "eternal mate" and get married and travel all over the world and bring millions of people back to God. In the middle of her tirade, she lost the ability to speak several times and once she recovered, she said it was Satan holding her tongue and that God had pushed him away to enable her to speak again.
The worst part of this entire situation was that, as I was trying to calm her down, there was a knock at my door. When I answered it, there was a lady I hadn't met before standing there with a little girl. To my shock and horror, I noticed that the little girl was mine! Lexie had wandered out the front door that had been left unlocked or possibly open by one of Cassies other family members bringing her back to my house. Needless to say my heart instantly sunk into my stomach and I started bawling my eyes out. What kind of mother am I, that instead of being able to protect my daughter and keep her safe I was trying to console a crazy lady that had all but turned our family upside down?! All the "what if's" started spinning through my head. What on earth would I do If anything ever happened to my little girl. I am literally at my breaking point. I am afraid that this was the very last straw. I am thinking that it has come down to she goes or I go.


snyderstories said...

Lisa, I wish I knew what to say. I am so sorry for what you are going through with Cassie. I must apologize as I'm certain the events between Derek and me Friday, which were 100% instigated by her I might add, have perpetuated her behavior these last few days. You are always in the forefront of my mind when things aren't going well with either of them. I feel partly responsible, but don't know what to do or how to change the behavior of ADULTS. Despite everything, I love you most and wish I could help. Take is from me, as hard as it is, you have to draw the line somewhere. I drew mine with Derek 11 months ago and nearly a year later it is the hardest thing. She will take advantage as long as you let her. It's never fun to be the "bad guy" and I have been one for a year now. But it is worth it (most days) to have the relief. Fight for what you and Rory have. Fight! And if in that fight she goes (among others) then so be it. They are not your problem. You have given ample opportunity for them to stand up and take control of their lives. But they ever play the victims.

I think talking about it helps, I started a new blog to do so as well. It so helps to have support. Love always, no matter what, Stacy.

Trinbean said...

OMG I am sooo sorry Lisa!!! It is not easy having family live with you, after time it just tears families farther apart. I am lost for words or advice, I can't imagin how hard it is to be stuck in the middle of a huge crazy mess. Hang in there, and let me know if you need anything...I am so sorry!!!!

The Holmes Family said...

Lisa you have no idea how much I hate to just sit and watch everything that your mother and brother in law do in your house. You don't deserve any of this, and your kids especially don't deserve it. I hate to see the stress it's putting on you and your family. Although, on a good note, you don't spend as much time at home so I get to see you whenever I come into mom's house. =) Love ya. Call me if you need ANYTHING!

Anonymous said...

Hey Lis, you had mentioned a bit of this back when we met at Cafe Rio and I have thought about you often. I hope you have the strength and courage to do what you feel is right. Remember that the family you created when you married Rory and had your beautiful girls is the family that you must protect. This isn't worth the price of your family-you know that. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. You're one of the kindest, gentlest people I know!

Jodi said...

Lisa I love you, and you have gone above and beyond!! you need to know you did everything to be a supportive wife, daughter in law and sister in law. You are a strong person and you will get through whatever it is that faces you. Remember you have alot of family that supports you and what ever decision you make. I know you will be fine.

Sherri said...

Lisa, I don't know how you do it seriously! I think I would be saying the same thing, either she goes or I go!! Wow, I hope something works for you guys! It is time to start thinking about your family and not worrying about her (your momther in law). This is tearing you guys up I am sure. You have got to do what is best for you and your family...and if that is that she needs to move out, that is what has to happen and hopefully Rory can understand that! Love ya tons. Missed you at the reunion!